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by MICHAEL BOWEN & r & & r & The Family Holiday & r & & r & Another made-for-Lifetime romantic comedy? This one's about a slacker (Dave Coulier, Full House) who'll inherit $10 million if he can convince investigators that the two orphans and the unwitting nanny he just hired really are members of his household. Ruminations on the real Meaning of Family will ensue.

Why are we telling you all this? Because Christina Pickles (St. Elsewhere; play readings at Interplayers) plays the nanny, and because the movie has North by Northwest connections. Oh, yeah, and because Gonzaga theater prof Brian Russo will play Duke the loan shark -- and Jerry Sciarrio (Sgt. Luther Billis in the recent South Pacific at the Civic) will also appear. Tune into Lifetime on Saturday, Dec. 22, at 9 pm and on Christmas Day at 3 pm. You'll laugh, you'll cry.

Short Fiction Lengthened

What with presidential primary mania this week and end-of-year/First Night hysteria next week, we've decided to push the hopefulness of new fictional creations into the new year. The winning story in The Inlander's 14th annual Short Fiction Contest will appear in our Jan. 3 issue. Extra Added Attraction: For one night only, join a short-story discussion club of sorts and hear from the winning writers at Auntie's Bookstore on Thursday, Jan. 10, at 7:30 pm. Call 325-0634 ext. 228.

Hi-yo, Bruce, and Away!

By July, the MAC will have a new CEO. That's because Bruce Eldredge has resigned in favor of assuming a similar post at the Buffalo Bill Historical Center in Cody, Wyo., which has the world's largest collection of Wild West Show belt buckles. We're grateful to Eldredge for his six years of service here -- he increased the MAC's endowment and revitalized the Center for Plateau Cultural Studies, among other accomplishments -- but he's leaving us for the belt buckles?!

396 Days

Until Jan. 20, 2009. The lameness of ducks is often prolonged without mercy.

Poisoned Apple of Their Eye

Welcome to Cecilia Roxanne White, born Dec. 14 at Sacred Heart. We're looking askance, however, at Cecilia Roxanne's parents, who gave their daughter a second middle name: Snow. Someday Cecilia's prince will come, blithely ignoring all the Seven Dwarves jokes.

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