Opening Films

by INLANDER STAFF & r & & r & THE BUCKET LIST & r & & r & Two strangers who are complete opposites (Jack Nicholson, Morgan Freeman) meet in a hospital, where both have been told they have a year left. They decide to join in a series of adventures they've scrawled on a "to do" list to be finished before they, you know, kick the bucket. Funny, positive stuff in the midst of a serious subject. There are a couple of commonsense plotting problems, but Nicholson and Freeman -- and their characters -- are having so much fun, you won't care. (ES) Rated PG-13





FIRST SUNDAY


Two bumbling con-men (Tracy Morgan and Ice Cube) are sentenced to 5,000 hours of community service, whereupon they stumble into the best bad idea for a heist. A church they're helping clean up has recently raised a couple hundred Gs and has it --all cash! -- locked in a safe on the premises. (LB) Rated PG-13





I'M NOT THERE


New York Times writer Robert Sullivan argued, in a recent preview, that Todd Haynes' experimental Bob Dylan biopic I'm Not There tells us as much about Haynes as it does about Dylan. The film uses six actors (including Cate Blanchett, Christian Bale, Heath Ledger, Richard Gere and the 13-year-old Marcus Carl Franklin) to recreate seven tumultuous eras in the life of a man who, according to Haynes's thinking, is at his best when reinventing his own image. (LB) Rated R





IN THE NAME OF THE KING: A DUNGEON SIEGE TALE


Uwe Boll's latest videogame-to-big-screen abortion is based on the moderately popular game series originally published by Microsoft. Statham is a mere farmer who, after his town is slaughtered, is asked by the king to sneak behind enemy lines ("a small band might make it ...") and create Lord of the Rings-type battles using some very un-LOTR wire-fu, karate and whatnot. Wack. Upside: the film was originally four and a half hours long. (LB) Rated PG-13





THE KITE RUNNER


Many years after two best friends part ways, the one who moved to America is called back home to help rescue his friend's young son from the Taliban. Sadly, everything that was wrong about Afghanistan that Khaled Hosseini wrote about in the source novel is still wrong in real life. This film's release date has been changed numerous times so the actors could safely be removed from the country due to a controversial rape scene. (ES) Rated PG-13





THE ORPHANAGE


This psychological horror entry from Spain tells of a little girl who grew up in an orphanage, then returns later as an adult with her husband to turn the place into a home for disabled children. But there might be ghosts hanging around, and they might be interested in the couple's ailing young son. (ES) Rated R





THE PIRATES WHO DON'T DO ANYTHING


This is a Veggie Tales movie. I don't need to say anything more. Buy your tickets soon and be prepared to brave packed theaters. (LB) Rated G