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by Inlander Staff


Cheney, Chaney -- Who Cares? -- Here's a little known fact: Our Vice President Dick Cheney pronounced his name the same way we pronounce our city of Cheney. That was until he got to Washington, D.C., where so many people mispronounced it that he finally adopted the new pronunciation (even though it bears no resemblance to the spelling).


So here's a thought: To show solidarity with his mistaken name plight, let's start calling our Cheney "Chaney." C'mon gang, it'll be fun! Let's get it started right now.





Massacre of the Innocents -- If you've been in any local store worth its impulse items lately, you've probably noticed this holiday season's big innovation. A few years back it was those icicle lights. This year, it's the giant inflatable snowmen and Santas. These babies go 10 feet or more, and they're not cheap. It's a happy story -- so far.


Here's where it gets ugly: If you've driven through any neighborhoods since decorations went up, you've probably noticed a lot of these erstwhile purveyors of cheer deflated in many a yard. Apparently all our local cows have already been tipped and the mailboxes of our back roads knocked down, because it looks like young vandals are at it again. Is nothing sacred, we ask? If you're willing to punch a hole in jolly old St. Nick, or even a reasonable facsimile, aren't you punching a hole in Christmas itself?


Well here's the payback, punks: One day in the future, you'll have a home and yard and kids. You'll go to Costco and pay some ridiculous amount of money for the latest holiday thingy-ma-bob. You'll do your duty as a consumer and a father by putting it up in your yard. The next morning you'll find it broken, twisted and destroyed. So next time you're out on a little joyride with the rest of your hooligan pals, think about what happens next: Your kids are gonna cry, your wife is going to leave you and your dog is going to pee on your leg. Does that sound like a happy Christmas to you? Didn't think so.





Fly, Fly Away -- Let's change gears to someone who's doing somethign constructive and beautiful, shall we? Local artist Melissa Lang was commissioned by the Washington State Arts Commission to produce a Christmas ornament. Not just any old ornament, mind you, but the one that would represent the entire state at the White House in Washington D.C. this Christmas.


So the little goldfinch -- the Washington state bird, in case you're wondering -- currently perched on the national tree actually first stretched its wings here in Spokane. Congrats!

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