Shock iron out the wrinkles, advance to ArenaBowl

Wheee! I'm a sportswriter — you can tell by my clever use of the opposing team's name in the headline. But in case you missed it last night, the Shock flattened*┬áthe Milwaukee Iron (when they beat a team, do they bust out clothes irons┬álike normal sports fans use brooms after a sweep?) 60-57 in a squeaker to win the National Conference Championship.

Spokane WR Huey Whittaker hauled down four receiving TDs and added a rushing TD to boot, good enough to earn him honors as the Nifty Playmaker of the Game. (Nifty being only a slightly less silly name than the Milwaukee Iron.) QB Kyle Rowley had 28 completions for 334 yards and seven TDs.

We'll have a full writeup in the next issue, but for now you should be watching the video below and buying your tickets for the ArenaBowl at the Spokane Arena (aren't we lucky we didn't call it a coliseum?) on Friday, Aug. 20, at 5 pm.

*Oh wait, that's backwards. Irons flatten things

†Of course not. They're the Iron, not the Irons. They probably just have a gigantic golden clothes iron that descends from the ceiling so they may worship it like some sort of Aqua Buddha.