SATIRE: The Onion depantses Ryan Leaf


You generally have to be a successful, or at least current, professional athlete to be lampooned by the Onion. You know, someone in the public eye, someone whose life is well-known enough that when the satirical paper takes the piss out of you, the whole nation can laugh at your expense.

For Ryan Leaf, though, they made an exception today.

"Ryan Leaf Somehow Worse at Crime Than Football" — juxtaposes the failed quarterback's brief on-field failure as a San Diego Charger with his much longer, much more prolific general failures in life. 

Criminal and football analysts announced Monday that, in light of his second arrest for felony burglary in just four days, former NFL quarterback Ryan Leaf is now officially performing even worse as a criminal than he did as a disastrous No. 2 draft pick for the San Diego Chargers.

Ouch. Kick a dude while he's down (and off his Oxy) why dontcha.