Shea cleared, Straub investigation putters along and news to start your day

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Rep. Matt Shea
  • Rep. Matt Shea

ON INLANDER.COM 
Irradiated 
Jones Radiator has closed

Budweiser is America and So Can You!
• Anheuser-Busch decides Americans are so dumb they'll buy anything with the word "America" on it, even a can of Budweiser

HERE
 
It's Not Like he Brandished a Gun on a Motorist This Time
Rep. Matt Shea has been cleared of any ethics violations for "hobknobing" with the militia members in the Malheur National Wildlife Refuge. (Spokesman-Review)

[REDACTED REDACTED REDACTED]
Investigator Kris Cappel still hasn't been given documents she's requested in the Straub investigation, as many as 7,000 emails, since the city is busy redacting stuff considered classified under attorney-client privilege. But Breean Beggs has an idea. It's not like Cappel hasn't faced these issues before. In a case in Lynwood, Washington, a memo was protected by attorney-client privilege, but the mayor was kind enough to waive it. But that was Lynwood, and this is Spokane. (Spokesman-Review)
Will independent investigator Kris Cappel be able to see uncensored versions of emails like this one?
  • Will independent investigator Kris Cappel be able to see uncensored versions of emails like this one?

(Related Onion article

Triumph the Insulted Composites Factory 

• Triumph Composite Systems has a good ol' fashioned strike going on, with signs and everything. To replace the striking workers, the company is seeking hardworking patriotic Americans/traitorous scabs, depending on your point of view. (Spokesman-Review)

THERE

Waiting for the Phoenix
• After a devastating fire in Fort McMurray, a town looks to rebuild from the ashes. (Edmonton Journal)

Rubio's Vow 
• So there's this Bible story in the book of Judges, where a dude named Jephthah promises God that, if He allows him to win a battle, Jephthah would sacrifice whatever comes from the doors of his house to greet him when he gets home. He wins the battle, but whoops, instead of like a cow or camel or something coming to meet him, his daughter runs out. 

So he sacrifices her, because a promise is a promise. 

So basically that, but with Rubio instead of Jephthah, "supporting the nominee" instead of human sacrifice, and Donald Trump instead of his daughter.  (CNN)

Trump's Gonna Trump 
What, you thought that he'd just roll over, pretend to be presidential? You thought he'd just give a smile and stop insulting women, minorities, and various Jebs? You can take the Trump out of the primary, but you can't take the Trump out of the Trump. (New York Times)