Delivery Not Take Out

I deliver hot, appetizing food right to your door and right on time. Your
total is X dollars and change. You hand me X kknd 1 dollars and say, "Dude,
don't worry about the change!" Yo, Moneybags, I WASN'T GONNA "worry" about
the change, because I don't MAKE change down to the cents! If you don't
give me exact change, I round your total up to the next dollar anyways and
then make change based on that, paper money only, no coin. So giving me a
twenty for a $19.40 bill isn't a tip, it's a stiff. A reasonable tip for
home delivery (with Washington's already generous minimum wage) is just ten
percent of the total bill. (What, you just spent $20 on pizza and wings and
you can't toss me $2? ) Or alternatively, figure a buck an item. So two
pizzas plus a 2-liter? Three bucks. Can't swing that OR the ten percent?
Then at least throw me a buck, the gesture is still appreciated. (And
incidentally, no, I DON'T get that delivery fee my employer charges you. At
the end of the night, I get a buck per delivery, strictly for gas.)