Car Burglar

To the thief who stole my ashtray full of coins from a maroon Ford Escort
station wagon parked at NorthTown Mall, April 1, 2013, between 6:38pm and
7:12pm. First and foremost, I'm glad you got away! Really! Otherwise I
would be sitting in jail until I got bailed out. Secondly, it gave me an
opportunity to teach my kids that there are always gonna be assholes like
you in this world. To always be alert and never trust anyone, especially
low life assholes like you. Glad it was only an estimated $12 mistake on my
part. When people asked me why I don't lock my door, my answer was
always "There's nothing in there that's worth anyone's life". So by that
logic, your life was almost worth the change in my ashtray. Someday your
luck will run out and get your ass handed to you.