Men are not mind readers. Learn to work the toilet. You're a big girl. If
it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us
complaining about you leaving it down. Crying is blackmail. Ask for want
you want. Let us be clear on this. Subtle hints don't work! Strong hints
don't work! Obvious hints don't work! Just say it! Yes and no are perfectly
acceptable answers to almost every question. Come to us with a problem only
if you want help solving it. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all
comments become null and void after 7 days. If you think you're fat, you
probably are. Don't ask. Christopher Columbus did not need directions -
neither do we. If we ask what's wrong and you say nothing. We will act like
nothing's wrong. We know you are lying but it isn't worth the hassle. Don't
ask us what we're thinking unless you are prepared to discuss such topics
as football or motorsports.