by Pia K. Hansen
How you doin?
In this category, the winner along with the second and third place choices, are not exactly the most creative outbursts we've ever heard. For crying out loud, even the checker at Safeway says 'How you doin'?" while you unload your gallon of milk and five pounds of potatoes -- does that mean he's trying to pick you up? Heck no.
We can only hope and assume that it's the version of "How you doin'?" made popular by Joey Tribianni of Friends. Tribianni, played by Matt Le Blanc, is smooth with the ladies, and when he says it, the line sounds kind of charming.
But regardless of how everyday the results may seem, this is the category where we got the most different answers -- 208 pick-up lines to be exact -- so our wonderful readers are individually very creative. We like that. But some of the pick-up lines are, how can we put it, not fit for publication in a family newspaper. Others are really long and cumbersome, like "I seem to have lost my number, can I have yours?" or "You'll be hearing from my lawyer, since you have stolen my heart" or "Are you tired? Because you have been running around in my dreams all night." Now try saying this to someone you've never met before, who is standing at the other end of a crowded bar, while maintaining a natural tone of voice. Not that easy, huh?
And there is more in the longwinded department: "Is your father a thief who stole the stars and put them in your eyes?" or "I want to pour milk all over you and make you a part of my complete breakfast." Hey people, this is not an essay contest! Or how about "Do you believe in love at first sight or shall I walk by you again?"
In the short and precise department, quite a few were dedicated to the power of beer and burrito commercials: "Wassup?" and "Zesty!" come to mind. But there were also some short ones with more of a personal twang: "Hey fat, sexy mama" (we'd be careful using this one) and "Wanna watch my lava lamp?" are right up there with "Get in the truck" -- if nothing else, that last one is right to the point.
Yes, yes, there were sweet ones, too. Sugary sweet ones, like "You have a beautiful smile/great laugh/look like Julia Roberts" and our personal retro favorite is "What's your sign?"
And there were many references to body parts as in "Are they real?" "Great butt," "Nice eyes," and the always sure to work "Nice rack."
Considering how much trouble some of these pick-up lines could potentially get you in, maybe it shouldn't come as a big surprise that "How you doin'?" won. At least it's not sexist and it doesn't make anyone feel bad about their looks, weight, height, plastic surgery or outfit. Call it Joey's lasting gift to the world of love.
Second place: "Do I know you?"
Third place: "Hi."