Bloglander

It looks like Wall Street and Animal Kingdom are the films to see this week. If you're thinking about The Virginity Hit, our advice is to just go see Easy A (again, if necessary) 

ANIMAL KINGDOM
If your kids are looking for the Disney adaptation of its third-worst theme park, they’re going to come out of the theater crying. Of course, they’d probably do that anyway after watching this Australian drama that centers on 17-year-old Joshua Cody after his mother dies from a heroin overdose. He’s forced to contact his incestuous grandmother — don’t worry, it’s only one branch deep on the family tree — who happens to be the matriarch of this particular crime family, for help. Crime, alcohol and Australians: the perfect recipe for trouble (just ask Russell Crowe). At AMC 20 (DH) Rated R | SHOWTIMES

LEGEND OF THE GUARDIANS: THE OWLS OF GA’HOOLE
Director Zack Snyder (300, Watchmen) tries his hand at making an animated movie for kids with this adaptation of Kathryn Lasky’s series of YA fantasy novels about a world populated by a whole bunch of owls. But while the film offers great visual detail and solid 3D effects, it skips over too much of the story, leaving gaping plot holes while filling the screen with tales of violent but bloodless war and close friendship. Very confusing for young viewers. (ES) Rated PG | SHOWTIMES

BRAN NUE DAE
Schlockstick, anyone? If you’ve been missing the zany Three Stooges sound effects and heads-peeping-around-corners antics of The Little Rascals, you’re in luck. This Australian road-trip adventure/chase/comedy follows Willie, an Aborigine who’s running away from boarding school to find his way home to Broome. After grouping up with a vagabond and a couple of hippies, he sets off in a flower-bedecked VW van (it is the ’60s, after all) — while the evil (well, incompetent) schoolmaster tries to find them. At AMC 20 (DH) Rated PG-13 | SHOWTIMES

THE VIRGINITY HIT
Teenagers are having sex and streaming it on the Internet. No, that’s what the movie’s about. Three nerdy teenagers chronicle the (mis)adventures of their nerdy friend trying to lose his virginity — and he keeps letting them tag around after they screw it up the first time. Think lowbrow American Pie, only with far worse production values. And without the sex. Will Ferrell co-wrote the movie, so the amount of camera time for dudes standing around in their underwear should come as no surprise. At AMC 20 (DH) Rated R  | SHOWTIMES

WALL STREET: MONEY NEVER SLEEPS 
If JFK was Oliver Stone’s paean to the conspiracy theories surrounding a presidential assassination, then this is his sickening portrait of conspiracy fact about the billionaires who collude to maintain the financial circle-jerk that props them all up. And Gordon Gekko is, God help us, now a voice of reason amid the villainy of the financial criminals running Wall Street. This is an enormously entertaining film, and a rather scary one, too. (MJ) Rated PG-13 | SHOWTIMES

YOU AGAIN
Sigourney Weaver has gone from working alongside vicious aliens with acid spit to working alongside Jamie Lee Curtis. (It’s as if her co-stars are typecast.) Anyway, Marni is all in a tizzy because her brother is marrying Joanna, who teased her in high school. So Marni decides to ruin the engagement. Meanwhile, her mother finds out that Joanna’s aunt was her high school rival. Basically, this movie is just a giant premarital cat fight, sprinkled with bits of Betty White being delightful. It could use some acid spit. (TH) Rated PG | SHOWTIMES