When did indecisiveness become an unattractive character trait? Well, I don't know actually. Let me think about that for a minute. In the meantime, may I suggest an alternative frame of mind. Don't think of us as "indecisive." Rather, we're careful, considerate, thoughtful. No surprise considering the incredible amount of information flying at us at any instant. You'd be indecisive, too, if all you had to do is swipe right for the next available warm body. Here's some help with what to get us for Christmas.
An actual conversation between a millennial couple:
Girl: What do you want for dinner?
Boy: I dunno, what do you want?
Girl: Taco night?
Boy: I had Chipotle for lunch.
Girl: How about pizza?
Boy: Ehhh, I'm tired of pizza.
Girl: Well what kind of food do you want?
Boy: I dunno, what kind of food do you want?
She had a bowl of Cheerios. I made a sandwich. You may not be able to end this vicious cycle completely, but you can help. Get those crazy kids a gift certificate to a meal delivery service, such as the Spokane-based Pantry Fuel. The food is made from scratch from locally sourced ingredients. Menu options change on a weekly basis. $60 for a weekly subscription, which includes five meals. Or buy a gift card for any amount • pantryfuel.com • 221 E. Rockwood
Who among your friends would rub chicken poop on their head to prevent hair loss? Which friend is the first to be sacrificed in the zombie apocalypse? Which '90s TV show would your friends most like to teleport into? These are questions that need answers, but don't typically come up in polite society. The new party game, F* That, is changing that. Each player is forced to confront some of life's most crucial conundrums, and offer up definitive answers. No safe spaces allowed. $15 • The Comic Book Shop • 3207 N. Division
PORTABLE PHONE CHARGER
Raise your hand if some idiot on his phone has plowed into you because apparently it's OK to just not look where you're walking anymore. Millennials, amiright? At this point, it's probably too late. They're too far gone. You're not going to break them of this habit. Best to lean into it. Get 'em a portable cell phone charger, so their batteries, like their Tweets, will live forever. $30 • Huppin's • 8016 N. Division
MAGIC 8 BALL
Perhaps the most obvious gift for 20- or 30-somethings who can't make up their minds is the classic stand by: the Magic 8 Ball. Should we got out to eat? "Ask again later." Should I move out of my parents' house? "Reply hazy try again." How am I supposed to pay off all these student loans? "Very doubtful." See? Problem solved. $7.50 • White Elephant • 1730 N. Division ♦