We all know someone (or several someones) who occasionally get sideways with The Law. Just because a grand jury or county prosecutor has decided they have enough evidence to send that someone up the river doesn't mean they should miss out on Christmas. So whether we're talking about a sister who lives "off the grid" by evading her taxes or an uncle caught up in some high-profile FBI probe into a certain president's Russia connections, let's pick some gifts that will help them pass the time in the pokey. You know, just in case that indictment turns into a conviction.
FAKE TAMPON FLASKS
Substance abuse in prison is a serious issue, but assuming your friend or relative is going to jail for the first time, a good stiff drink might be necessary to get through their first few nights. These handy little numbers are the perfect way to smuggle in a few pops for the recently imprisoned, and sneaking whiskey into a jail seems a lot more likely than baking a file into a cake. Coming in a handy five-pack, these fake tampons should at least last a few days, and could probably be traded for cigarettes in a pinch. $14 • Boo Radley's • 232 N. Howard
Missing loved ones has to be rough for everyone in jail, from the white-collar criminals to the most violent offenders. A handy 5-by-7-inch frame is small enough to pack from cell to cell or prison to prison, and a great way to keep alive some memory of the life left behind. $9 • William Grant Gallery and Framing • 1188 W. Summit Pkwy
Your jailed love one is going to need to make friends, and fast, with any new roommates. Playing cards is a great way to bond and keep things chill (unless you get gambling involved — don't do that). A beautiful cribbage board lends itself to a fun, time-consuming game, and a weapon for self-defense if a riot breaks out. $60 • Made In Washington • 808 W. Main #223
A gym membership might not seem a natural gift for someone going up the river, but considering the time that appeals can take in the court system, why not help your friend or relative get in fighting shape — literally — before they head to prison? The YMCA has everything needed and memberships you can cancel any time. $56.50/month for adults 25-61 • Central Spokane YMCA • 930 N. Monroe ♦