- Don't try to watch all 552 episodes because you'll probably die.
There was a solid decade and a half when you could watch a rerun (or two) of The Simpsons on any weeknight. It didn't matter if you moved to a new city or were on vacation across the country, there always seemed to be an episode or two in the hours before prime time. The reruns aren't so prevalent these days, which is why Simpsons fans should rekindle their love affair with America's favorite Springfielders this week when the cable network FXX airs all 552 episodes of the show, which has run for 25 years, consecutively... without a break.
Given the sheer number of Simpsons fans out there and their propensity for obsession, it's likely that someone is going to attempt to watch all 276 hours of the show. That person might die, so don't do that. But there are some episodes you'd be an idiot for missing.
If you want to remember when Conan O'Brien wrote for the show, check out "Marge vs. the Monorail" (Fri, Aug. 22, at 6 pm) in which Springfield decides, thanks to a smooth-talking huckster voiced by Phil Hartman, to buy a janky monorail, piloted by Homer. O'Brien also penned "Homer Goes to College" (Sat, Aug. 23, at 12:30 am).
Remember when Homer and his friends started a world-famous barbershop quartet and named their album "Bigger Than Jesus"? — that's on Friday at 11:30 pm. You can also see Homer as the beer baron (Sun, Aug. 24, at 8 pm) and Mr. Plow (Fri. 4:30 pm).
The marathon will take you to all seven continents the yellow family has visited and approximately 25 countries, including Australia, where Bart was sent to be ceremoniously kicked in the ass for making a prank phone call (Sat, Aug. 23, at 6 pm).
You might use the latter part of the marathon to see newer episodes you've missed as your obsession has waned over the years. One to suggest is "A Totally Fun Thing That Bart Will Never Do Again," titled in tribute to David Foster Wallace, which follows the Simpsons on a disastrous cruise (Sun, Aug. 31, at 9 pm). ♦